Dennis Weise - 'Valhalla'

Here's another album that seems to have disappeared from the face of the internet. I think I probably got it off the Mutant Sounds blog back in the day (credit where credit's due) but obviously that link is long-gone. So, here ya go.

This is really fucking strange stuff. The first time I heard it, I assumed it was some obscure library release, because it's pretty heavy on the analog synths and soundtrack vibes. But, it's apparently not that...it's a private press release that is intended to be an 'album.' More or less, it's almost like an outsider music version of Faust or something. This guy clearly digs krautrock but the musicianship is amateurish. Songs go nowhere, and often do about-faces for no particular reason.

When it's good, though (as on 'Alien Rock') it is VERY good. A must hear for all fans of 70's private press weirdness, the Residents, or library music. Also, the track subtitled '93rd Current' would seem to indicate that Weise is either a fan of Aleister Crowley, or he has some connection to the group Current 93 (who weren't formed til '82...about 4 years after this record came out)

Dennis Weise - 'Valhalla'

Tracklist:

1. Machine Time Ship
2. Y M Alim-Kader
3. Breathe the Form
4. Alien Rock
5. Hedonic Rapture
6. The Big Apple Mystery
7. The Return of the Akpallus Mutants (Part A)
8. The Return of the Akpallus Mutants (Part B) - 93rd Current
9. Valhalla

DL

Outsider music mega-post

Hey yallllll,

So, I stumbled upon a treasure-trove of outsider music and private press albums I've been trying to find for quite some time. The only problem is, it's on Youtube. So, instead of gradually converting the videos into mp3's and posting albums here, I'm going to let YOU sort through this collection and find what you like. I have no idea who this guy is, but these all claim to be ripped directly from original vinyl, which means homeboy has A LOT of expendable cash. Some of these things go for like 2 grand or something. You've probably heard stuff like Lucia Pamela and Jerry Rayson, but the fact that this guy HAS these records is pretty ridiculous. But, there's also stuff you can't find anywhere else (as far as I know) like Justen O'Brien and Jake, Steve Drake Band, Mistress Mary, and a whole slew of oddball religious albums. Anyhow, enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/user/9711886/videos

Films 11 - more weirdness for summer

Been diggin' in the archives again for some odd flicks....found plenty of 'em. If you need some drunk flixxx for summertime, look no further. I'm puttin' up links again, so you don't have to even hunt 'em out.

'Samurai Cop' - 1989

This is it. This is the ULTIMATE bad movie. Forget your 'Room' or your 'Plan 9' or even your 'Troll 2.' This takes the cake. What's more, it's kind of like a weird amalgam of all those films. The acting is awful, the dialog is terrible to the point of being bizarre, the storyline is more convoluted than a head shop employee's urine, and it's pure fucking 80's. Basically, you've got a cop who's been brought in to fight some gangsters. He's the best of the best, and he's also a Samurai warrior who 'speaks fluent Japanese.' However, he doesn't really do any police work and spends most of his time getting laid while his 'friends' get shot, stabbed, and burned. He's STILL supposed to be the hero despite this, and despite his awful dialog which makes him sound like a total asshole. Throw in a complete lack of understanding of Japanese culture, and a writer/director who probably doesn't speak English too well, and you've got a classic film. I also read somewhere that Iranian filmmaker Amir Shervan would often neglect to get permits, and one time was arrested for going 100 in a residential area with a rented stunt cop car. Upon being arrested, he threatened to  burn the police officers' houses down and kill their families. Yeah. See this at ONCE. Dude's got two other English flicks, and they both sound promising.

'For Y'ur Height Only' - 1981

I posted this a week or so ago, but for the record, it's a Filipino parody of the James Bond flicks starring a midget named Weng Weng as 'Agent 00.' The only thing is, it's not all that funny....sure, it's got some jokes, but no more than a regular Bond film. It's more like a straight tribute to Bond with a midget instead. Okay....That being said, I liked it a lot more than most 80's Bond flicks I've seen, and it was totally entertaining. Not badly made, either, just unusual. The Filipino people apparently aren't too proud of this film, as it was the ONLY thing that drew any attention from a Filipino film festival organized by the First Lady.

'Scalps' - 1983

I can't do much better than this review from RateYourMusic user Cinematery:

"This is one of those movies that is so bad that it transcends all preconceived notions of what good and bad is to deliver a truly surreal experience. And it's been a favorite of mine for a long time. To put it frankly, "Scalps" is amazing. An ancient demon runs around in blue jeans and tennis shoes (before anyone is possessed). Superimposed monster masks appear out of thin air and spout mumbo jumbo. A mysterious cat/man creature appears at random times and is never explained. It's pitch black night and broad daylight in the same scenes. The music is often eerie and oddly hypnotic, but very strange in some ways I can't quite put my finger on. Most of the kills are shown immediately at the beginning for no reason at all. There are long stretches where nothing happens, yet they somehow feel like those dreams you have that are nightmares in tone, despite nothing too nightmarish really happening. Of course, there are other scenes where plenty happens: rape, splattery deaths, and whatnot. This movie has one of the most hysterical (yet realistic-looking) decapitations I've ever seen. In summation, unless you're put to sleep by it and hate bad movies on principle, "Scalps" has quite a bit to offer for the trash connosseiur or even the good-humored surrealist."

'Miami Connection' - 1986

Another film that, while not quite as entertaining as 'Samurai Cop,' is pure undiluted 80's entertainment. This is like 'Karate Kid,' 'Miami Vice,' and some shitty afterschool special all rolled into one. According to my friend, it was also the basis for a pretty good video game. So, then....you've got your good and evil gangs. The good gang is pretty puke...they're an awful synth-rock band who does Tae-Kwon-Do and is more fucking ethnically diverse than the Magic School Bus. The bad gang is pretty lame too, but you still don't mind seeing them kick the synth kids' asses. Also, there's a third gang, kind of...ANOTHER synth rock group who writes shitty 'bad guy' songs about cocaine, and get their gig at a bar stolen by the good guys. They're pretty much pissed at everybody. Apparently, the director/actor (you KNOW it's gonna be fucked when you see that...) did this film, and nothing else ever. Good deal. It's also currently on Netflix, if you swing that way.

...more to come...

Films 10 - mindfuck flicks for summer...

Alriiiiiiggghhhhtt,,,,

I sifted through some more garbage to find y'all the coolest underground low-budget shit I can muster.

...with LINKS this time:

'Tuesday Never Comes' - 1993

Surrealist 'Scarface'-esque drug kingpin story from writer/director/actor Jason Holt who made this ridiculous film I've yet to see. Troma re-released this flick, so that should let ya know it's quality. In fact, the sleazy vibe this dude conjures up is much more natural than most of Troma's sleaze. I dunno, I always felt like 'Scarface' was way too big-budget to be as seedy as it was trying to be, so this is like a much more accurate version of 'coked-out nightmare.' Holt himself plays an Irish former priest who's looking to get revenge on the mob for not paying him. The mob is mostly Erik Estrada who smokes crack and makes crazy faces throughout. By the time Holt's character is smoking crack in the sewer and chilling with rats, you know this thing's gone off the deep end. Weird stuff. Like Holt says, be careful if yer gonna watch it alone, because it IS a head trip. Holt also apparently had a musical alter-ego in the 70's called 'Daniel,' whose lone album is pretty high-up on collector's lists. You can hear some of the tracks here, which features Holt singing and playing an amplified cello(!) Oh yeah, if you have a link for 'Desperation Rising,' PLEASE share it with me, I'd love to see this thing...

'Death Warmed Up (aka Death Warmed Over)' - 1984

Supposedly the first horror flick out of New Zealand which, if you're familiar with the work of Peter Jackson,  should indicate that this is nutzoid. In fact, I don't think I've seen a more dreamlike film. Right from the first scene of the main character running feverishly through a hospital (never explained) this shit just drops you in its own world and doesn't let up. Basically, you've got a punkish guy who gets experimented on by an evil doctor...he then (under the doctor's mind control) kills his parents and goes to the psych ward. When he gets out, obviously the first thing he wants to do is fuck the doctor's shit up, so he brings some friends (who don't know the story) on a 'weekend getaway' to the doctor's private island dealie. However, the doctor's evil biker zombies (you read that right) are messing things up and the revenge plot gets left behind until the VERY end and it's mostly just people trying to survive the biker maniacs. None of this is explicitly laid out, though. It's all gathered through weird, surreal sequences that left me more confused than scared. It's kind of like someone SERIOUSLY mentally disturbed tried to make a 'regular' horror flick, and this is what came out. Oh yeah, it's deadly serious too, despite the plot. A unique film experience.

'The Abomination' - 1986

Rural Texas trash made all the creepier by the backwoods vibe of the filmmakers. Upon describing this film to a friend, he said it sounded like 'redneck Cronenberg' and this is pretty accurate. For the probably 7 dollar budget, the effects in this film are pretty outstanding. A guy who lives with his mom gets taken over by an evil tumor she coughs up, but he doesn't think much of it and starts hiding his own coughed-up tumors around the house. The tumors take over and turn into monsters with giant teeth, then he kills his friends to feed the monster because that's apparently what he's supposed to do. Oh yeah, and the first 10 minutes of this film are more like a trailer than anything, giving away ALL the gore...I guess it's supposed to be like the guy is telling a psychiatrist about the whole thing, and it may or may not have really happened...he might just be a murderer with no good reason. Whatever the case, if ya liked 'Videodrome' but wish it made even LESS sense and was created by some farmer instead, you'll love this shit.

'Arise! The SubGenius Video' - 1992

I didn't know much about the Church of the SubGenius before seeing this, but it didn't really matter. What you get is a proto-Tim and Eric video collage made by some pranksters who started a fake religion. Members include Mark Mothersbaugh (who does much of the soundtrack), Robert Anton Wilson and Paul Reubens. This is supposed to be a 'recruitment' tape for potential converts, but it plays more like a Mr. Show sketch. If you have a fairly dark sense of humor, you'll get a kick out of this weird thing. I won't give much else away, but the SubGenius Rap is pretty amazing.

'Toxic Crusaders: The Movie' - 1997

Basically the entire 'Toxic Crusaders' TV series cut down to movie length. If you've seen the show, you don't really need to see this, but if you haven't, watch this instead...it's much more bearable. If you're completely unfamiliar with this, it's the kid's cartoon based on Troma's Toxic Avenger series. Let that sink in for a second....it's a KID'S version of a film that features a headcrushing radioactive monster, created by a studio known for making the sleaziest trash around. Fuck, I even had action figures of this thing when I was a kid...I had no idea. More or less, it's 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' only dumber and with more environmental messages. If you're a fan of Kaufman and Troma, you NEED to see this. It's great.

'Drunken Wu Tang' - 1984

Absurd Kung Fu film that plays like it should be a cartoon. A ridiculous, drunken master has to fight some evil guys and make it through all these traps they set up, including the 'Watermelon Monster,' an annoying-voiced puppet. He also drives around in a tiny car that looks like a rat or something. The whole thing is pretty great. If you like the surreal nature of low-budget Kung Fu flicks, this one will be yer new favorite thing.

...alright, that's it for now.

The Chewers

Here's a reader submission for ya...don't usually get these, but I'm always open to them...hit me up at whimperwarrior@gmail.com

This duo, out of West Virginia, is called The Chewers, and from what I've heard reminds me of stuff like Caroliner, but more structured and easier on the ears (to an extent).

They've got a video out that's kinda like some Residents shit. Just as weird, too.




Here's a little bio they sent along:

"The Chewers are Travis Caffrey and Michael Sadler, two

freaks from the woods of West Virginia (by way of Nashville), USA.
We each play various instruments, in order to create layered arrangements

in the vein of avant-roots-rock (or something like that).

The songs feature characters immersed in psychological hells, grappling

with deep disconnect from the society around them. These subjects are

generally presented with a deadpan and crooked sense of humor."

The album they're currently pushing, 'Chuckle Change and Also' is their second, and can be found here.

They've also got a Soundcloud page with some more tunes.

Dig it, yall.

Obscuro! Mixtape #14...'fucked.'

That title should clue you in....this is a trip to the weirdo side. Fans of the Trash Radio and Obscuro programs will definitely want to check this one out. Basically, I went digging in the Obscuro! archives and came up with the strangest shit I could find, that I hadn't yet played to death on the radio. Some of this stuff never even made it into radio programs because I just forgot about it or whatever...ran out of time...y'know. So, it was kind of surprising to find so much bizarre stuff.

You'll hear oddball religious nonsense, vanity recordings made by reality TV stars, private press stoner sludge, and lots of mind-fuck ambient stuff. Anyhow. See for yourself. It's pretty cool.

Obscuro! Mixtape #14 - 'fucked.' by Bizarrojerry on Mixcloud

Films 9 - More Low Budget Nitemares

Okay...after spending a whole shit-ton of time this week watching bargain-bin flicks, I've got some more to review.

'The Jar' - 1984

Don't know much about this, other than it is VERY weird. In an Amazon comment, the main 'actor' talks about how low-budget the project was, and apologizes for his acting. I dunno, it wasn't really that bad...a lot of lists seem to cite this as one of the worst horror movies of all time, and I guess if you go into it expecting a 'horror' movie that's probably true. It IS a very good surrealist piece, though, and I don't think the surrealism is completely unintentional. Sure, the acting is a little wooden, but (and I hate to keep going back to this, but it's true) so is the acting in MOST David Lynch films, because it's not really 'about' the acting. Basically, a guy comes into possession of a jar that contains some weird, possibly alien being. It starts fucking with his mind, and days start and stop at random...he'll end up someplace different for no reason, and it's not clear what's a dream and what's not. It also doesn't really end. It's apparently not shot on VHS like I thought, but whatever the low quality film stock is, it amps up the menace for sure. I can't recommend this enough for fans of surrealism and creepy low-budget oddities. Probably going to be watching this one a lot more...

'Truth or Dare?: A Critical Madness' - 1986

This one is also fairly weird. It seems like it's supposed to be a 'regular' kinda slasher film, but is just a big oddball mess. Not as low-budget as you might think, but there are some very strange editing/story decisions that don't really make sense in terms of filmmaking. It kind of just follows this guy along as he goes crazy from finding his wife cheating on him...he keeps doing ridiculous shit, then getting put in the psych ward (it happens like 3 times) then he gets out and inevitably plays 'truth or dare' with someone...usually imaginary. The 'dares' include things like popping out eyes and cutting arms off...shit like that. I heard this described as a 'fever dream' and that's kind of fitting. The score music comes in at the wrong time often, and stops for no reason, and there's really not a point to the film...it just kinda keeps going and going...aside from about 20 minutes of being way too slow, it was pretty entertaining.

'The Dark Planet' - 1989

This one's so underground it's not even on RateYourMusic...impressive...apparently the work of Richard Corben, who had a lot to do with the 'Heavy Metal' film and the 70's comic book it was based on. I don't remember the film too well, but his segment was called 'Den.' The review I read for this was basically perfect...you almost don't believe the guy worked on such a cool thing as 'Heavy Metal' upon seeing this...it's VERY poorly done. I don't think there's anybody involved but him and maybe one or two other people.  A lot of the film is amateurish clayamation and puppet-work, and if there's a live actor, it's usually just one on the screen at a time. I guess the structure is pretty similar to 'Heavy Metal,' as it's an incomprehensible mess of 'segments' only held together because they occur on the same imaginary planet and involve the same ancient artifact. I really don't know what to say about this...it's definitely artistic, but it's pretty much a failure, but it's still kinda cool...even though I couldn't even begin to tell you what it's about.

'Woodchipper Massacre' - 1988

Possibly the most zero-budget film I've ever seen...maybe even moreso than 'Quadead Zone.' Basically a young dude (probably 19?) and his family making a shot-on-video flick about a crazy aunt who accidentally gets killed by her nephew while babysitting. Since they have a woodchipper rented for the weekend, the kids decide to just chop her up, but they have to freeze her first because apparently woodchippers don't work for 'wet stuff.' Then they kill her son because he's an asshole and why not? For a 'splatter' flick, it's not very violent, and it reminded me more of an afterschool special or 'Full House' or something. Lots of fun if you have 80 minutes to kill. Writer/director/actor Jon McBride seems to have made some other, gorier flicks that I'll have to check out. This one, like 'Quadead' also seems to be scored on a cheap Casio keyboard. Cool.

'Rubber' - 2010

Pretty decent for a 'newer' flick...which I don't usually like. Aside from the whole 'oh my god, can you BELIEVE we MADE this movie?!' attitude throughout, it was fairly enjoyable. Yes, it's about a tire that blows up animals and people for no reason, but no, it's not a 'retro'-style B-movie. It's more of an art-project kinda thing...about how strange of a concept the film actually is. It makes some good points in that respect, but it's VERY heavy-handed. I dunno, it might have been better if they'd gone for a more retro vibe. As it is, I probably won't re-watch it anytime soon, but I don't regret the 90 minutes I spent on it.

'Big Money Hustlas' - 2000

Yup. The Insane Clown Posse's first movie. I remember being fairly impressed by this in high school (and I hated them then) so I re-watched it. Hilarious. If you hate ICP, watch this, because you will look at them in a totally different light. Yes, it's cheesy, low budget, stupid, gross and foul, but so are the blaxploitation films they're parodying, and they do a much less pretentious version than say, Quentin Tarantino (who I DO still hate). I mean, they even got Rudy Ray Moore to be in it....as well as The Misfits and fucking Harland Williams. Definitely the hardest I've laughed in a while, and it shows that ICP might be loud and obnoxious, but they're NOT stupid. They totally know what they're doing, and the fact that Violent J supposedly wrote this film in like 2 weeks is incredible. Harland Williams, of course, steals the show, in possibly my favorite role from him as officer Harry Cox.

Films 8 - Low Budget Nitemares

Yesssss time to review some more films. I've been watching scores of shitty movies recently, and now you will benefit from that.

For some reason, ever since I was a kid, I've always loved the look of those homemade VHS releases you would find at mom-and-pop video stores. What you might call 'low-budget,' I would call 'minimalist.' I've never been one to fault someone's art because they didn't invest enough money in it. BUT, despite my love of the older stuff, public access TV has reopened my eyes to the world of shitty NEW cinema. Apparently, lots of oddball one-man projects are getting made in the West Michigan area these days...

So...

'Weasels Rip My Flesh' - 1979

Usually, you expect a horror film shot by a 16 year old on 8mm to be horrible. And, while Nathan Schiff's work gets written off as 'z-grade' a lot of times, there's quite a bit of cinematic merit in this flick. I mean, it's not just some bizarro outsider project that's weird because it was made by weird people. There's something else going on here. Dude know how to work with his 90 dollar (!) budget, and the score is fucking terrifying. Plus, considering what I've heard about his third film 'Vermillion Eyes' (un-findable ANYWHERE, if you have this please GET AT ME) homeboy was more about David Lynch than Ed Wood. Yes, the acting is bad, but it's his friends so what do you expect? The first thing I noticed was that the writer/producer/director/etc DIDN'T act in his own movie, which is a rarity, and seems pretty mature for a 16-year-old filmmaker. Yes, it's about some kids who dump nuclear waste on a weasel and make it radioactive, but that's beside the point. I liked it.

'Tales from the Quadead Zone' - 1987

The first of two films by Chester Novell Turner I watched this week. Call me uncultured, but I love a movie that just breaks the hour mark. That's the sign of a responsible low-budget filmmaker. Somehow this 'Tales from the Crypt'-styled flick ended up being only 62 minutes, but that's fine by me. Like I said before, I won't fault anybody for not having enough money to make a flashy picture. Obviously, if you do that, then you have to discredit awesome things like 'Eraserhead.' This dude VERY obviously shot the whole film on a cheap VHS camera and--get this--scored it with one of those cheap Casio keyboards. No, it doesn't just sound like that, it clearly IS that. I should basically be able to tell you that this movie features a fat redneck guy murdering his family so he can eat their sandwiches, and a guy who takes revenge on his dead brother by dressing him up like a clown and burying him in the basement. Yep, it's demented. But you can tell this isn't just some vanity thing...dude spent a LOT of time on the editing, and there are quite a few genius shots...plus, Chester doesn't attempt anything he knows he's unable to do, which makes this a REALLY good example of minimalist filmmaking, in my opinion.

'Black Devil Doll from Hell' - 1984

I'm glad I watched this after 'Quadead,' because I would've written off Mr. Turner had I seen his debut flick first. It's definitely not as good as 'Quadead,' but I wouldn't say it's the 'worst horror movie of all time' like a lot of people seem to think. No, it's just as low-budget as his sophomore film...his grasp on filmmaking isn't as good though. If anything, the soundtrack is better...he had some weird dude write an intro song, and somewhere in there is a ballad sung by (I can only assume) Mr. Turner himself...and damn, homeboy can sing! This one is much more 'blaxploitation' than 'Quadead,' and is pretty pornographic...I mean, it's a chick getting raped by an evil doll, basically. Still, it's pretty good, and probably better in a group setting for the sake of riffing on it. Some DVD company should be putting out both of Chester's films by October of this year...til then, they're both free on Youtube.

'Wax or the Discovery of Television Among the Bees' - 1994

I read about this film years ago, then forgot the name and could never find it. Cool factoids: First film translated into code and uploaded to the internet. First indie film edited on a non-linear system. William S. Burroughs makes a guest appearance. NONE of those things make this film any cooler, because you COULDN'T make it any cooler. Featuring a totally non-linear story about a computer programmer getting hypnotized by his bees and trying to reach the land of the dead...or something like that...this is truly one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen. No kidding. The cheesy old-school computer editing makes the whole thing even creepier and weirder, and the fact that this guy apparently dropped off the face of the earth after making this film add to the mystery. Even though it's entirely narrated by the director (one Mr. David Blair) in his deadpan voice, it's totally not boring even for a second. Really. Fucking. Weird. If you like Lynch, Jodorowsky, Cronenberg, etc you NEED to see this. It is just as weird, surreal, and experimental, but in a completely different way. Also...I've not found confirmation, but I'd be willing to bet that the dudes who made that bizarro Adult Swim series 'Xavier: Renegade Angel' loved the shit outta this movie...very similar vibe.

'Th3 Bas3m3nt' - 2009

This is one of those odd things I found on late night public access. Gotta love it when you can't find ANYTHING on the internet about a film. Completely self-made (and funded, I'm sure) by a guy named Chris Penney outta Grand Rapids, MI. The feeling I got watching this was that some soccer mom and her husband made this on their weekends, and that seems fairly accurate. It's like they wanted to make 'The Ring' or something, but didn't really have a proper grasp on what's scary or what's emotional or anything like that. Honestly, I'm not even sure of the plot...it's one of those movies where you have to actually try and figure out what the person was trying to say...not in an artistic way...just in general. I think it's about two families with an eerily similar history or something. Regardless, it's pretty goddamn weird in that 'The Room' kinda way. Definitely a couple 'laugh til ya cry' moments. I'm gonna write Dogbyte Films, who put this thing out, and see if I can't get a copy on DVD.

'Smells Like Community Spirit' - 200?

Another public access find. Dunno why I sat through this...other than it was locally made....I guess it was entertaining and killed a couple hours. Reminded me of those Troma movies where they just try to do a straight comedy, but it's not quite funny or interesting enough. You know the type of films...faceless jam band scores to emphasize the 'goofiness' of the flick. It's about a guy who buys a bowling alley in a small town to 'get away from things,' but then a corporate Walmart-esque store is going to move in and ruin everything, so he joins up with some other local business owners to fight 'em. I can always appreciate that type of message. Some sub-par acting, but whatev. The 'wild card'-type guy wears a shirt for each day of the week, which was funny.

'GR 30K' - 2010

Public access find. Perhaps only interesting if you're from the West Michigan area, this is an apocalyptic vision of Grand Rapids in the year 30,000. Okay. First of all, that's obviously wayyyyyy too far in the future for what happens, but whatever. First thing I could tell is that this dude (Dan Falicki apparently) was really into 'Sin City,' which is okay, since that's one of the more creative flicks that came out in the past 10 years. Or 20 or however long it's been. It's set up like that movie...a few different stories that don't really intersect...some long, some short. Notorious billionaire dickhead Dick DeVos is parodied at great length, which is why I said it might only be interesting to people from this area. It is an enjoyable film in its own right, and especially funny if you've ever been to GR. My only complaint is that it was like 2 and a half hours...wayyyyyyy too long for a homemade movie shot entirely on green screen. Oh well. This Falicki dude is quite a talented filmmaker.

...more to come, as soon as I get through some of these titles on my list...namely 'FART - The Movie' which promises to be quite awful. In the meantime, I'm sure you can find some VHS absurdities over at Bleeding Skull.

Caroliner - 'Strike Them Hard, Drag Them to Church'

I'm going to post a couple things it was VERY hard for me to find on the internet, because sharing is caring, I guess. Hopefully this will make it less of a pain in the ass for you to find weird music that record collectors keep on lockdown because they're dick sucks.

Caroliner is a very strange band that dress in ridiculous day-glo costumes and claim all their songs are transcribed from lyrics sung by a bull in the late 1800's. I guess the most accurate way to describe their sound is if the Residents went back in time and tried to create their music on the instruments of the late 1800's, but also used those genres of music instead of 50's and 60's pop as a reference point.

...or if you want a more fun explanation, it sounds like a really bad case of ergot poisoning set to old-tymey shit.

This album has more of a Vaudeville bent than most of their stuff, and is supposedly the 'classic' Caroliner album. I still like 'I'm Armed with Quarts of Blood' better, but you can find that one pretty much anywhere.

Tracklist:

1. Dumhevae
2. Loin Loin's Doings
3. Guilty Wind or Wing
4. Crown of Awful Ways
5. Spiddletop Knuck Knuck
6. Rainbows Made of Meat
7. Strike Them Hard, Drag Them to Church
8. Coal Mound
9. Horse Flats

DOWNLOAD

Bizarro Jerry's trash radio, vol. 4

Volume 5 is on the air right now...89.1 WIDR Kalamazoo. Here's 4 for ya:

Bizarro Jerry's Trash Radio, Vol. 4 by Bizarrojerry on Mixcloud

Tracklist:

Divine Styler - Sound Quest
Colleen Fulmer - Blessing the Divine Womb
Calypso Borealis - Xelim (Ekuri Awai)
Justin Warfield - B-Boys on Acid
Frank Michael Rizzo - Honey Road
Moggi (Piero Umilani) - Officina Stellare
Question Mark and the Mysterians - 96 Tears
Lil Ugly Mane - Cup Fulla Beetlejuice
Mike Garson - A Gershwin Fantasia
Third Quadrant - Backwards into the Future
2 Cruzeiros de Bala - Autofagia
Hackamore Brick - Oh! Those Sweet Bananas
Koopsta Knicca - Watcha Gonna Do
Yan Tregger - Escaping
Cryptopsy - Born Headless
Gettovetts - Gangster Lean
(Unknown Artist) - (Unknown Track)
Necrofrost - Slaughtered with Misanthropic Intent
Roger Roger - Sounds Industrial 16
Jun Dax - Watch Where You Walk
Magical Power Mako - Tundra
Robert "Killer" Fields - My Heart Will Know
Burzum - Dungeons of Darkness
Quakers - Russia with Love
Swarthmore Elementary 6th Grade - (excerpt of 'We Love Recess')
Happy Flowers - My Frisbee Went Under the Lawnmower
Black Vomit - La Pastora (The Shepherdess)...
Rev. G - Sinister Minister
Jim Shepard - In the Hall of Molds
BassLine Xcursionists - Understand
Mauthausen Orchestra - (excerpt of 'Anal Perversions')
Dr. Dre - (Side B of '86 in the Mix')
The Frogs - Pull a Kurt
Gore - After
Moggi (Piero Umilani) - Danza Galattica
Kongress - Tough Guys Don't Dance
Riz Ortolani and Nino Oliviero - Free Way
The Saturday Knights - Surf Song

Obscuro! podcasts, part 2

Herezzzz s'more of 'em....

Episode 7 - 2-28-09

Obscuro 2-28-09 by Bizarrojerry on Mixcloud

Tracklist:

Mahavishnu Orchestra - Birds of Fire
Wesley Willis - My Mother Smokes Crack Rocks
Eskimos - Mr. Twist
Busdriver - Painkillas
Buddy Knox - I Think I'm Gonna Kill Myself
Melvins - Pick it N' Flick it
The Bachs - You're Mine
Heathen Dan - I Like
Men of the Hour - Psycho
Dead Milkmen - Bitchin' Camero
Bobby Pickett and Peter Ferrara - Disco Kong
Residents - Infant Tango
Fraser and DeBolt - Gypsy Solitaire
Rita Lee - And I Love Her
Beach Boys - Kokomo (Spanish Lyrics)
electric eels - Tidal Wave
Earth - Seven Angels
Konrad - My Girl
The Singing Doctors - Terminology
Erica Pomerance - Burn Baby Burn
Joe Meek and the Blue Men - I Hear a New World
Hasil Adkins - We Got a Date
Luie Luie - El Touchy
Swans - Like a Drug
Charles Manson's Family - Is There No One in Your World
Peter Grudzien - Private Battle
Bruce Haack - The American Eagle
Skip Spence - War in Peace

Episode 8 - 3-7-09

Obscuro 3-7-09 by Bizarrojerry on Mixcloud

Tracklist:

Comus - Song to Comus
Abortion Clinic Shooting Spree - The Monroe Academy
Thomas Steven Smith - Loco Boy Made Good
Gary Wilson - Loneliness
Carmaig DeForest - Crack's No Worse than the Fascist Threat
Jandek - May 7, 9:15 AM
Michael Yonkers Band - Microminiature Love
Miss Pat Collins - Going Out of My Head
Zerox - Blurs and Slurs
Residents - Semolina
The New Creation - Sodom and Gomorra
Brian Wilson - Hotter
Congress-Woman Melinda Jackson Parker - Cousin Mosquito #1
Kenneth Higney - I Wanna Be King
The Bronze Age - Artifact 5
Phew - Finale
Circuit Rider - Forever Angel's Proud
Stephen David Heitkotter - Fly Over the Moon
Mark Tucker - Everywhere with Sally (Ride)
The O - Destruction
Hot Blood - Soul Dracula
Ya-Ho-Wa 13 - Warden
Yma Sumac - Medicine Man
Carlton the Doorman - Who Is It?
Ivor Cutler - I'm Happy
Cromagnon - Caledonia
Markley - Booker T. and His Electric Shock
Anton LaVey - Satan Takes a Holiday
Perry Leopold - Cold in Philadelphia
Isabel Baker - I Like God's Style

Episode 9 - 3-14-09

Obscuro 3-14-09 by Bizarrojerry on Mixcloud

Tracklist:

The O - A Celebration
The Peanut Butter Conspiracy - Time After You
Dean Milan - Do it Like a Dog
Neal Burris - The Sissy Song
Mahogany Brain - Silkskin Dawn
Silver Apples - Whirly-Bird
Paul Leary - How Much Longer?
Lee - One
Terry - Born in a Hole
electric eels - Tidal Wave
Eartha Kitt - Let's Do It
Clem Hutchins - White Cloud
Green Jelly - The Bear Song
Residents - The Moles are Coming
The Shaggs - Shaggs' Own Thing (Vocal Version)
The Frogs - La Da Da Da, La Da Da Dee
Baby Lu-Lu - Jesus Loves Me
Beach Boys - Brian Falls in the Piano
The Billy Nayer Show - Love Smiles
Chet Bolins - All American Masher
Nicodemus - Red Sky
The Red Krayola - Hurricane Fighter Plane
Flex - Get Out the Dope Game
Louvin Brothers - Satan is Real
Happy Flowers - Jenny Tried to Kiss Me at Recess
Moondog - Perpetual Motion
Alex Chilton - Alligator Man
Contropotere - Inquisitor
Strawberry Path - Mary Jane on My Mind

Episode 10 - 3-21-09

Obscuro 3-21-09 by Bizarrojerry on Mixcloud

Tracklist:

Stinky Puffs - Buddies Aren't Butts
Joel R. Cooper - A Cup of Jesus
Basehead - 2000 BC
Coven - Black Sabbath
MC Paul Barman - School Anthem
Half Japanese - Intergalactic Aliens
Kenneth Higney - Night Rider
Porter Wagoner - The Rubber Room
Cloroform - Hey You Let's Kiss
The Offs - Everyone's a Bigot
Brian Wilson - Metal Beach
Merry Meds - Emission Possible
Child Molesters - Muscle Beach Party
The Kids of Widney High - Insects
Anal Magic and Rev. Dwight Frizzell - How to Avoid Simultaneity
Wicked Lady - Sin City
Eilert Pilarm - All Shook Up
Ween - Smooth Shifter
International Fabric Care Institute - Dryclean When You Care
Confuse - Merciless Game
Kurt Cobain Channeled through Gerald and Linda Polley - The Battle is Raging
Red Television - Ghost of Emile Zola
Lucia Pamela - You and Your Big Ideas
Konrad - Music Scientists
SRC - Black Sheep
Roy Acuff - Advice to Joe
Wooden Wand and the Sky High Band - Portrait in the Clouds
Jandek - You Painted Your Teeth
The Dynamites - Tunnei Tengoku
Daniel Johnston - Pyscho Nightmare
Robert Lee - The Ballad of Bruce Lee
Beaverloop - Serpent
Mr. Blackwell - Whatever Happened to Women
R. Stevie Moore - She Don't Know What to Do with Herself
Hombone Hunter - Bacon Fat

Episode 11 - 3-28-09

Obscuro 3-28-09 by Bizarrojerry on Mixcloud

Tracklist:

Jerry Samuels - I Owe a Lot to Iowa Pot
Michael Yonkers Band - My House
Sandra N' Cindy - Shadrack
Hisao Shinagawa - More Money, More War
Proyecto A - A Venus
Dan Bull - Outbound
Virgin Insanity - Livin' Lives
Johnny Sampson - Road Hog
Electric Junkyard Gamelan - Nutterbutter Challenge
Abner Jay - The Reason Young People Use Drugs
Vyto B - Good and Evil Biorhythms
The Human Instinct - Stoned Guitar
Kaplan Brothers - Life and Me
Thurl Ravenscroft and Roberta Lee - Wing Ding Ding
Wee Willie Shantz - Hush Puppy Hush
electric eels - Spinach Blasters
Karamoko Keita - Diama
Jim Jones Catering Service - This One Goes Out To ___________
Langley Schools Music Project - Good Vibrations
The Moonbillies - The 'Lectronic Brain
Dennis Duck - Davey the Worm
Magic Oranges from Spain - Part I
Fela Johnson - They Call Me Fela
Phil Celia and the Silver Tones - Keep On Smiling, Pay Your Taxes
Lucifer - Exorcism
Mark Tucker - 1964 Cadillac
Harry D. Cup - Sick American

Episode 12 - 4-4-09

Obscuro 4-4-09 by Bizarrojerry on Mixcloud

Tracklist:

The Fugs - Boobs a Lot
AxCx - I'm Not That Kind of Boy
Crispin Hellion Glover - The New Clean Song
Necro - I Need Drugs
Edgar Broughton Band - American Boy Soldier
Butthole Surfers - Lady Sniff
Charles Manson - Garbage Dump
Moolah - Crystal Waters
Proyecto A - A Pluton
Marty Cooper - American Farming Man
Dr. Octagon - Halfsharkalligatorhalfman
Jan Terri - Rock and Roll Santa
Philemon Wehbe - Hamburger
Bruce Haack - Program Me
Brian Wilson - Life is for Living
Agata - Bungy
Daniel Johnston - Brainwash
Chillum - Land of a Thousand Dreams/Too Many Bananas
Eileen Fulton - I Wonder Who My Daddy Is
Gary Wilson - Gary's in the Park
Hairy Chapter - Can't Get Through
Tammy Faye Bakker - Roar
The Halos - The Nag
Gore - After/Axe of Revenge
Stone Harbour - Rock and Roll Puzzle
Pekka Airaksinen - Sukirti
Destroy All Monsters! - Meet the Creeper
Residents - Elvis and His Boss
Countryside Unitarian Fellowship - Fear I Feel
Pearls Before Swine - (Oh Dear) Miss Morse
Yahowa 13 - Fire in the Sky
Janeen Brady and the Brite Singers - I'm a Mormon

Dude, what the fuck is this shit?

Seriously. I just heard this record yesterday...'Paradise Don't Come Cheap' by New Kingdom. It was on a list of 'different' rap albums, much like the Sensational stuff I put up a while back. I think this one takes the cake on the weirdness factor, though. The beats aren't so much beats as they are noisy bongwater sound collages, and the two dudes don't so much rap as they rasp and growl incomprehensibly about whatever the fuck they want. Plus every song is sloooooooooooowwwwwwww and kinda dizzy-feeling. Check out the lyricals:
'Have you ever been suspended in....AAAAIIIIIRRRR?? Well, I have in my favorite chair, in my favorite room, where I hope shit can't break me out this cocoon.' (Suspended in Air)
One of the all-around coolest rap albums ever. So, I'm putting it up as a download.

Artist: New Kingdom
Album: Paradise Don't Come Cheap
Year: 1996

Tracklist:

1. Mexico or Bust
2. Horse Latitudes
3. Infested
4. Unicorns were Horses
5. Kickin' Like Bruce Lee
6. Shining Armor
7. Paradise Don't Come Cheap
8. Co Pilot
9. Big 10 1/2
10. Valhalla Soothsayer
11. Animal
12. Half Asleep
13. Terror Mad Visionary
14. Suspended in Air
15. Journey to the Sun

DOWNLOAD

Playlist for 1-29-10

Hell yes, another week's program, featuring the epic track "Tadpoles in the Bongwater" by Full Dimensional, a very swingin' band out of Ann Arbor. I'll be back in a couple days with more album downloads, but for now, you can download the podcast if you like.

Jan 29 - 1:57 AM	Damon	The Night	Song of a Gypsy		No	Bizarro Jerry	e/d
Jan 29 - 1:50 AM	Little Howlin' Wolf	Sunny Come Early	Singles, Vol. 1		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 1:46 AM	BB Gabor	Moscow Drug Club	???		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 1:44 AM	Vyto B	Good and Evil Biorhythms	Tricentennial 2076		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 1:40 AM	King Horror	Dracula, Prince of Darkness	Zombie Jamboree Compilation		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 1:37 AM	Dorothy Carter	The Squirrel is a Funny Thing...	Waillee Waillee		No	Bizarro Jerry	e/d
Jan 29 - 1:27 AM	Shawn-Daniel Foreman	Love Inside of Sound	Transistor-Jet Strikes Back		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 1:01 AM	Full Dimensional	Tadpoles in the Bongwater	Exhale		No	Bizarro Jerry	e/d
Jan 29 - 12:57 AM	Bobby Brown	My Dog is Every Bit as Good as Me	Live		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:54 AM	The Two Pete's	'57 Chevrolet	Live at the Ever New Montague Arms		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:50 AM	Negativland	Drink it Up	Dispepsi		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:47 AM	Alien City	Dirty Heaven	S/T		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:41 AM	Lee Edwards	Maui Girl	Christian Con Man Goes Hawaiian		No	Bizarro Jerry	e/d
Jan 29 - 12:35 AM	Franco Battiato	Energia	Fetus		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:33 AM	Wesley Willis	Al Capone	Greatest Hits, Vol. 2		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:31 AM	Katie Lee	It Must be Something Psychological	Songs of Couch and Consultation		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:29 AM	Old Lady Drivers	Die in Your Beauty Sleep	S/T		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:26 AM	Whitewood	Victim of My Mind	S/T		No	Bizarro Jerry	e/d
Jan 29 - 12:25 AM	Whitewood	Victim of My Mind	S/T		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:23 AM	Electric Eels	Black Leather Rock	The Eyeball of Hell		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:15 AM	Cannabis India	Hand of the King	SWF Session 1973	requestical	Yes		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:11 AM	Dennis Weise	Alien Rock	Valhalla		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:08 AM	Jim Sullivan	U.F.O.	U.F.O.		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:04 AM	Destiny	Too Many Girls	United as One		No		e/d
Jan 29 - 12:00 AM	Stone Harbour	Battleaxe	Emerges		No		e/d

Jan 28 - 11:58 PM

Dandelions

Uncle Harry

S/T

No

Bizarro Jerry

e/d