New music? What's that?

Since I don't really make a point of hearing newer music (it's kind of hard for me to get excited about boring, faceless bands that seem to be everywhere these days) it doesn't make much sense for me to post a 'best of 2009' list like everybody else. But, working at WIDR has turned me on to some good new records, so I compiled a list that pretty much sums up all new music I've heard in the past year. I just tuned out everything else.

BIZARRO JERRY'S TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2009

1. Antipop Consortium - Fluorescent Black
This album is pretty good. I don't like it as much as Arrhythmia, but it's pretty good.

2. Dinosaur Jr - Farm
This album is pretty good. I bought it on 2xLP because I buy every single new thing J. Mascis releases except those fuckin' shoes. I listened to it about 8 times total this past year, which isn't bad...but I also listened to Green Mind about 300 times.

3. Themselves - CrownsDown
This album is pretty good. I listened to it something like 5 times then got tired of it. Doesn't have the same lasting impression as The No Music did. I still rock that shit regularly. Maybe I'll get back into this at some point.

4. Edan - Echo Party
This is more of a song than an album...it's a 30-minute array of old-school hip hop samples, weird analog effects and Edan playing whatever the hell instruments he plays. I like it, but I just heard it like 2 days ago and I guess it came out in 2009, so cool.

5. Wino - Punctuated Equilibrium
This guy is a crazy biker dude who has been in some sweet bands (Saint Vitus, the Obsessed) and his album is heavy as hell. I think I rocked this for a good week before I got bored with it.

6....haha, oops, I can't even think of another record. Oh well, instead here are my top 10 thoughts while browsing this list of albums released in 2009 to refresh my memory.

1. I didn't even know Sepultura were around still. They've got that big scary black dude instead of Max Cavalera so who cares.

2. Matt and Kim, you guys have an idiotic and lazy band name and you suck.

3. How did that bitch from TLC put out a new record?

4. Haha, the Jonas Brothers. Why is Disney so fucking stupid?

5. Why do people care about some stupid cokehead from the Darkness? Didn't that band really suck? Isn't Hot Leg another really stupid band name? Fuck them and Wolfmother. Fags.

6. There are a lot of really ugly people who make boring music too. Case in point: Micachu

7. I thought that band the Woods were okay, but on closer inspection they seem to be rather lame.

8. Oops, I just fell asleep reading an article about Grizzly Bear and how great and 'rich' their sound is. BO-RING. I could go on a rant about pseudo-hippies with stupid beards that make boring pseudo-folk-hippie-indie bullshit and pat each other on the backs for a 'job mellow-done' each time one of them comes out of their fun-loving mushroom haze and puts some 'songs' down on a reel-to-reel in some gay cabin...but I think I already did.

9. Hahaha, there's a band called Chickenfoot and they have a backwards 'k' in their name. They're probably nu-metal of some sort, but I don't care to find out. I do want to know why these people like backwards letters so much though. Is it like a snakebite serum where it's actually made from the snake's venom but you reverse the properties, so reversing the 'k' makes it a vowel or something? Who cares?

10. Dude. Music sucks.