More incredibly strange metal

Here are a few more of these oddball metal releases I've collected over the years...

First, two non-classics from the Metal Enterprises label. See this post and this post for more info on that fiasco...

Kalaschnikov, like the other artists in the ME stable, probably just wanted distribution for their mediocre album ('The Torture Never Stops') but got ripped off like so many others when the label did a fake 'follow up' record with their own in-house musicians/producers. Unlike the other groups (such as Killer Fox, whose original recordings were just unlistenable garbage) Kalaschnikov's sound was at least weird on its own.

The whole album kinda feels like it was written in a day, including the lyrics, which are so over-the-top 'evil' you have to hear them to believe them. It's like somebody told the vocalist to just sing about stuff that was the opposite of the Bible, so you get classics like 'Kill Your Neighbor' and 'Devil's Your Hero.' Despite the crappy production, it's a pretty good time, and you can't really hate songs like 'Rockin' By the Graveyard' and 'Video Monsters.' The lack of musicianship also seems to have resulted in some unusual guitar riffs in a kind of Voivod-ish way.

So, then, enter the ME staff's version of Kalaschnikov, present on their second (and final) album 'Desert Storm.' It sounds like they weren't even trying on this one. Two long tracks of obvious space-filling 'ambient' stuff, a few songs that sound a little too musically competent to be the ME staff...my guess is that they got hold of some Kalaschnikov demos for a second album, and dubbed their own awful vocals over. Then there are a handful that are obviously the same people responsible for the second Killer Fox and Thrash Queen albums. The ridiculous female operatic vocals and the snarly cartoonish male vocals, bad drum machines and totally non-metal guitar tones. Oh yeah, and whistling solos.

Yeah. Fucking whistling solos on what is essentially a thrash metal song ('Czarewitch').

Well...basically, if you're for some reason collecting all the Metal Enterprises releases, these will be of use to you. Otherwise, probably not? Oh well, the first album is enjoyably funny at least.

Kalaschnikov - 'The Torture Never Stops'

Tracklist:

1. Devil's Your Hero
2. The Haunted House
3. Rockin' By the Graveyard
4. Kill Your Neighbor
5. Chosen One
6. Demon's Rebellion (Instrumental)
7. Video Monsters
8. Hell's Runnin' Wild
9. Demon's Rebellion (Vocal)

DL

Kalaschnikov - 'Desert Storm'

Tracklist:

1. Czarewitch
2. Siberian Werewolf
3. Homage to the Holocaust
4. Headbanger
5. Stinking Shrine
6. Scull Scratcher

DL

Lastly, here's a release that might not be EXACTLY metal, but it definitely has metal influences (mostly from the doom genre) and it's certainly fucked up. While there are quite a few bands calling themselves Warning, this is the 1982 release by the German synth-doom group. Actually, the vocals here wouldn't sound too out of place on a Metal Enterprises release...they're like...death metal growls? I guess? But put through all sorts of effects to make it sound like aliens. The music is literally a head-on collision between OG doom metal (think Sabbath and Witchfinder General) and euro-disco synth stuff.

It's pretty goofy, but it's also very enjoyable, and occasionally really creepy. One review compares them to Rammstein, and I guess that's not far off, but WAY WAY more 80's than that description lets on. It really does sound like Kraftwerk playing satanic metal before that kind of metal even existed. If you read this blog, you'll like it I'm sure.

Warning - S/T

Tracklist:

1. Why Can the Bodies Fly
2. Magic Castle
3. Wild Roses for the Exit
4. Darkness
5. Out of Tune
6. The Door (Pt. I)
7. The Door (Pt. II)
8. A Message
9. Warning
10. Lost in Time
11. In the Crowd

DL