Sunday, September 7, 2014

Outsider cinema, vol. 2 - 'Hawk Jones'

First off, this post does NOT include a download link for the movie, BUT, it is extremely affordable from the creator's website, and I'd encourage all of you to support them.

This is one of the most bizarre things to come out of the 1980's VHS era that I've ever seen. We will start off with a quote from the director's website:

"Hawk Jones was the brainchild of Tor Lowry.  Tor got the idea for Hawk Jones when he saw a Bill Cosby Jello commercial in which all the kids were dressed as adults.  Tor thought that would make for an interesting movie to have an all child cast and his brother, Rico, agreed.  "

Yep. The only film I'm aware of with an all-children cast...but it's also not FOR children.

The plot is not very good, and the script isn't's your basic thriller/crime caper with 40's film noir references. Obviously, though, that doesn't matter, because it's ALL CHILDREN.

So, it's an hour and a half of kids smoking cigars, driving cars, shooting each other up (yes, there is blood), hanging out at bars, and talking like 1940's adults ('The streets are no place for dames!'). All of which makes for an incredible viewing experience.

One review I read claimed that this is the type of film you couldn't get away with making in modern times, which is definitely true. I'm surprised that they found a whole cast of children whose parents were cool with this back in '86 or whatever. I mean, some of it is borderline creepy. Judging by the info on the director's website, they did have trouble finding a distributor, even in the anything-goes VHS era.

What's weirder is that it's actually well does look to be shot-on-video, but the editing is flawless, and all the sets are well-decorated. My guess is that an extremely wealthy person did this, and had enough sense to hire people for production than do it himself. Somehow, he also found some pretty decent child actors...I mean, a few of them are REALLY good for how old they are.

Here are a few highlights:

-A kid hitman named 'The Eliminator' who wears some bizarre homemade sunglasses and a golfer hat.

-A lengthy, awkward scene where two kids 'make eyes' at each other.

-Multiple kid gangsters with drawn-on facial hair who keep asking their boss 'want me to waste him??'

-The music, which is gloriously 80's but also would be more appropriate for an early Olsen twins film or something.

-A kid playing an old man, complete with a walker and grey wig.

Yeah, it's great. I also wonder if any of these kids went on to become 'real' actors?

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